chefboyardeezie: banjo-jeff: chefboyardeezie: when im rich the first thing im doing is getting laser hair removal on every inch of my body that isn’t my head you’ll look pretty funny without eyebrows im at least 3% sure that my eyebrows r on my head
whiskey-memories: bras are so expensive like i didn’t choose the boob life the boob life chose me not me. I chose the boob life. #implants
there is a huge difference between genuinely liking someone and liking the attention they give you and it took me a long ass time to realize that
they-call-me-wonder-woman: h0odrich: It’s mad depressing when u eat the last piece of candy but you didn’t look at the bag and realize it was the last one so you could truly appreciate it for what it was worth This speaks to me on a deep emotional level.
sweeteverlastinggrace asked: i didnt kno u had trich
petparent: poopflow: do you ever feel like a plastic bag No, I always feel like a Prada bag
My grandma is who taught me how to flirt
southerncharmm: southerncharmm: She used to take me places and would tell me to talk to waiters, sales associates, etc. and would expect me to tell her what colors their eyes were when I got back to her. Small thing that has a big effect because you have to REALLY look them in he eyes but smile and be charming so it isn’t weird or uncomfortable. Queen of seduction back in her day. You go...
i will not take you seriously
sweeteverlastinggrace: in 99% of cases if you say “honey” or “sweetie” in your response to me or to anybody/anything. you sound fucking ridiculous and i personally think its on par to pointing out grammar/spelling mistakes—a desperate attempt to age yourself and seem like the more mature, knowledgeable person. but guess what, fuckfaces, it does the exact opposite.
youarefuckingmajestic: VANITY AS SELF CARE ALWAYS. YOU TAKE THOSE SELFIES, GIRL. SHOW THE WORLD HOW FUCKING MAJESTIC YOU ARE.
heartcramp: Look, if you nicely tell me that swearing makes you uncomfortable and you politely ask me not to, I will stop immediately and speak nicer than a nun. But if you start acting like you’re on some fucking high horse, or telling me that I’m going to Hell for talking the way that I do and you can’t “be around that kind of language” then you can bet your motherfuckin’ ass that I’ll be...
irresponsibleeyouth: The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out. I’m a pro at this